Thoughts of a tired mom after Christmas.

Why is it I can't wait to see this on Monday.  I enjoyed the holidays this year, but I admit, I am ready for them to be over.  Oh how I wish I didn't feel this way.  I remember being so heartbroken as a child when Christmas decorations would be packed away until next year.   Right now I am tired of looking at them.

 I wish all the presents and commercialism and busyness of Christmas would just go away.  Ha!  That sounds great in theory, but I play into it as much as anybody.  I wouldn't mind just a simple Christmas with minimal gifts and a lot more service.  How does one accomplish this?  How do you get away from the mad rush,  endless shopping, and everything else that pulls at your time and detracts from the real meaning of the season? 

Wouldn't it be great to pack up the family and head to a third world country for Christmas.  I would love for my children to fully realize how good they have it.  How blessed they are, and how little they really need, and how much they could do for others.

Oh hum.  I will try harder next year to slow it down, have quiet Christmas moments, teach my children about our Savior and why we are celebrating.  I will try to tone down the gifts and still not disappoint the teenagers (that is quite a feat).  It has to be possible right?

I truly love the Christmas season.  I love the Christmas story.  I am grateful and forever indebted to my Savior, Jesus Christ.  This needs to be my focus, my center, and my strength in the seasons to come.  The Christmas Spirit was here this year, I just forgot to slow down and look for it and take time to let it sink deeper into my heart. 

You know, just recognizing it at this moment, suddenly makes me feel better and know that I will have many bright and special Christmases in my future.  

Merry Christmas, and a happy Christ centered New Year!

Freedom

I loved this video.

Tipping the Scale

I have been thinking a lot about our upcoming election.  I have tried very hard to study each candidate, and nudge my way through all the fluff.  It is difficult when there is so much muck being thrown around about both candidates. 

I have read "The Audacity of Hope" by Barrack Obama.  I will admit that I haven't read any books on John McCain - (mostly because I was to cheap to buy one and someone gave me the book on Obama).  But I have tried to stay current and learn about the man what I could.

There are countless arguments for both sides and each one makes great promises.  So I started to think about what was important to me and how did each candidate measure up.  

The War.  Support it or not, the fact is we are at war.  Looking at both of these men, who do I feel will do what is right for our country and our soldiers.  I, unlike most people, do not support a cut in our military defenses.  I will never forget how I felt on September 11, and I feel better knowing our country has the best military defenses in the world.   I want someone who, along with his party, has a history of supporting funds for our military and supporting what needs to be done to protect our country.

The economy.  I am just as scared as the rest of America.  Believe me, my hubbies in the banking industry.  But any candidate who promotes a "redistribution of wealth"  and higher taxes for the rich, scares me to death.  It's a concept that is dripping with socialism.  I have always believed in free enterprise and capitalism.  Oh how I wish there was a flat tax.  I cannot support the idea of taking from the rich to equal everyone out.  Again, it's a socialistic concept that I don't embrace.

The "A" word.  Yes, abortion.  I am not in favor of it.  I don't feel the need to argue the topic of abortion, because then this blog post would be the size of a book.  Several - and I mean several - of my friends have been so blessed because of these unwanted babies through adoption.  How can I go along with a candidate who supports this - early or late term.

The list goes on and on. And so could this blog post.  I have found that I disagree with both candidates on several points. Both have shady things in their past and some associations that I cannot ignore.   But to not vote would be irresponsible.  I must decide.  

(Now many will say there is so much more to the discussion, and believe me I know this is true.  But for the sake of not making this so long, I just touched on a couple of things).

My sister-in-law (you know I still love you) made a comment the other day that has really bothered me.  She said she loved the idea of a black president.  If you think about it, that is a very narrow minded comment.  The color of ones skin is irrelevant as is their gender.  I love the idea of voting for someone who shares my beliefs.  That is all.

And so my friends, on November 4th, John McCain will be getting my vote.  And no matter who wins this election, I feel I did my best to make an educated decision.  I feel I voted for the candidate that adhered most to my beliefs.

This is just one girls opinion.

The real me

A lot of my friends have been asking me why so many people have been leaving me such unkind comments on my blog recently.  It is because I posted my political views on the side bar, and because I posted about having housekeeping clean up my sons throw up at our hotel.

I have always had a small readership, but because of a link posted on Cjanes blog to my blog,  I got a lot of traffic the other day from people I didn't know.

People said some really nasty things to me. Really nasty.  I will admit that it hurt.  I was judged very harshly from people who don't know me or anything about me.  Because of my political views and my "politically incorrect" sense of humor, they assumed the worst and sure let me know it.

I am a pretty fun loving, nice person.  I strive everyday to be the best wife and mother; my family is everything.  I am kind to all my neighbors, no matter their color. I am active in my community and my church.  I volunteer in the schools.  When I read others blogs, I encounter numerous things that I don't agree with.  Sometimes I even think they are lying.  Then I simply click the mouse and off I go, onto a new blog or website.   It is not my place to play policeman of the blog world and make sure everyone is being politically correct or posting only things that I agree with.

That's the beauty of the blog.  It's my voice.  Mine.  I was told - "Shame on me" and because of my connection to the Nie Nie blog, I should be more careful with what I say.  I love my cousin Christian and  his wife Stephanie.  But I was blogging long before their accident, and hope to be blogging long after.  I don't owe anything to anyone in the blogging community.  This is my place to share a part of me.  And like it or not - this is me in all my imperfect glory.

To leave nasty comments is silly.  It's not anyones job to put me in my place.  The blog is out there for you to read - agree or not - and if you like what you see, come back again. Obviously, if you don't, then don't.

Here's the bottom line.  This is my place to post new recipes that are yummy,  to post little tidbits about my family life and vacations, to post pictures of my latest cookie and cake creations, and yes, to even post my opinions.  It could be said that it is your right to leave a comment with yours, and I guess that is so.  But it will always be my right to delete them when they are unkind or nasty.  

I am a lover not a fighter and don't enjoy the controversy or arguing.   Come. Read. Enjoy.  If not, no hard feelings.

If back then, why not now?

When I was first married and living in a small apartment, I made friends with my neighbor, also a newly wed.  She discovered that I was of the mormon faith and was extremely bothered by it.  One day she pulled me aside and asked me a question.  "Melissa, if I were about to walk off a cliff and didn't know it, would you stop me?"  "Of course I would stop you" I told her.  "Well, Melissa, you are headed off a cliff with your religion, and I feel like I need to stop you".

I was so taken back by her comment, I really didn't know how to respond.  She proceeded to tell me that there was no prophet of God on the earth today.   I don't exactly remember the details of our conversation after that, but I do remember that I didn't have the courage to respond the her the way I wished I would have.

It has always bothered me that I didn't ask her a question in return.  Why would God call prophets and apostles in the olden days but not today?  Where in the scriptures does it say that God will never again have a prophet on the earth?

I believe that God has not forsaken His people.  I believe that he has called a living prophet in our day and time.  That is how it was in the scriptures, why not now?   Were not the prophets of old scorned and mocked by the people?  Were they not ridiculed and made fun of.  Christ himself was mocked and scorned by those who did not believe.

I have the rare opportunity this weekend to attend a general meeting of my church, where the prophet and his 12 apostles will speak the good word of God.  If you are not familiar with the mormon religion, you might be surprised by the quiet natures of these men.  They are not dressed in the latest fashion, they make no money for their service, and they don't wave their hands in the air and heal people on the spot.

But if you listen closely, you will feel the power in their words.  If you open your heart you will be touched by the love God still has for His people on the earth today. 

So to my friend out there, I am sorry if you think I am headed off a cliff.  But I wish you could know as I do, that there really is a living prophet.  He speaks the will of God to the people.  I am so grateful to have this knowledge in times such as these.  I know in my heart these things are true. And so to all the world out there - I pray you also will find the truth that you seek in your life.

If you are curious about the idea of a prophet, click here and decide for yourself.

I am really liking this!

I fell in love with this Amy Butler fabric.  Here's what I am thinking... 

• I want to recover my bean bag!
• How can I incorporate this onto a cake.
• This would make a great cookie - I have no idea how, but I just know it would.

A Key to Happiness

The other night on television,  I was watching a program where they were interviewing celebrities and asking them what advice they would give to Britney Spears.   For some reason this fascinated me and caused me to ponder somewhat on the topic of happiness.

Why is this poor girl so unhappy?  Why are so many celebrities unhappy for that matter?  The answer is something I discovered years ago, while searching for my own happiness.  There is a quote I read recently which I believe is the key.  It's by Henry B. Eyring who is a leader in my church.  He says, "Without service, there is no happiness".  Bingo!  .  

In Hollywood so much of that culture is "self service".  It puts such emphasis on "self"; appearance, furthering careers, money, fame, etc.  There are many different aspects of "self service".  At one point in my life, I found myself in a deep depression.  As I began to pull myself out of it, I made some profound observations.  Depression is a very selfish state of mind.  "I'm not good enough, nobody cares about me, I wish I were dead, why does this always happen to me?".  Have you noticed the recurring words - I and me.

"There is no happiness without service".  How do I find happiness?  In the service of my family, neighbors, and friends.  When I catch myself falling back into the bad habits of a depressed state of mind, I immediately put a stop to it. I remember that I really need to get over myself and stop focussing on ME.   True happiness for me has come when I lose myself in the service of others.

Why are Britney Spears and others in Hollywood so unhappy?  I believe that they are caught in the trap of "self service".  Be it depression, or a focus on self to achieve more fame, glamour, and money, it will never result in happiness.  

"You make a living by what you get, but you make a life by what you give."

-Winston Churchill

Smoke and Mirrors

"You are so amazing!   What can't you do?   How do you keep it so together?"   

The other day someone said this to me.  While although it fed my vanity just a little, I chuckled to myself.  

I can't and don't!  

I am far from perfect and struggle with my own shortcomings everyday.  Last night I stayed up until 2am decorating silly cookies.  Here's what my house looks like this morning.

I love those compliments, but I have to tell you... don't be fooled.  I only blog the good stuff. Why would I blog about the negative in my life?  That's no fun to read.   I want to look back at all my blog posts someday and think... hey, I had it pretty good.

I am a real person with real struggles just like everyone else.   Just wanted to make you feel better about yourself today!  (And don't you?)

WAL*MART {It's a Love/Hate Thing}

Things I love about Walmart

• Lower prices on about everything.
• Right down the road from my house

Things I hate about Walmart

• Their produce {bleh!}
• Their check- out lines. {I unload my cart very specifically so that all the heavy stuff is together at the beginning and the fragile stuff is at the end, otherwise they throw them into the same bag and crush everything.}
• Their customer service.
• The smell.

And yet, the things I love about Walmart are enough to keep me coming back.  I wish I wasn't such a cheap skate!

My Inspiration

I recently read a blog, where people commented on what inspired them. There were a few good replies, but I was surprised by some of the things people got inspired by. Here's a few...

• Handbags
• Storefront displays
• cute clothing
• etc.

It really got me thinking this week about what inspires me. I find myself constantly turning my thoughts to this everywhere I go. I think I have it. I know what inspires me. Are you ready... this list could be long.

People who are better than me.

• Like my mom. She is never idle. I have never met anyone who is so devoted to the service of others than this woman.
• Like my mother-in-law, Connie. She always sees the good in others, even when they might not deserve it. She always tells me how wonderful I am - so much so, that she even has me believing it.
• My friend Shilo. She is a loyal friend with an ear for listening. She puts up with me even when I get cocky and beat her in racquetball. (She is going to whip me one of these days).
• Laurel, for her cheerful outlook on life and her desire to make this world a better place.
• Angie, for her quiet service. She does so much behind the scenes, and never seeks attention for herself.
• My father-in-law Dan inspires me. I love to tease him to death, but I admire how his boys look up to him, confide in him, and respect him. They love to tell stories of his grumpiness in their youth, but he did something right, because his kids look to him as a role model.
• My sister Linnea. She is a fighter. She also is a good listener. She quietly presses on even when she might be struggling. You would never know. I really admire this because I share everything. I talk way to much about ME!
• My brother Eldon and his wife Mindy. They try to live life to the fullest. I love their enthusiasm about every new thing they try. What fun parents they are.
• All my sibling inspire me really. Each one has something unique and special that makes me want to be a better person.
• Last but not least... my husband Jeff. God had a hand in it when I married this man. He inspires me in so many ways. He is slow to judge others. He always gives people the benefit of the doubt. He is a great father and friend to my children. He is more patient than I am. He stops and explains things to them, teaches them, and loves them. Nobody can get our family to lighten up more than him. I have fallen victim to many of his tickle torture raids on the kids. If you are lucky enough to be his friend, then you are lucky indeed. He is loyal to the end, and is sure to make you laugh with his quick wit. He truly inspires me.

Unselfishness, long suffering, cheerfulness, kindness, gratitude...etc. Anytime I witness these qualities in anyone, I am inspired. I am lucky in that I am surrounded by so many wonderful friends and family (even if you weren't listed above) that I witness these things everyday. I only hope that it will rub off on me a little more.

Hypothyroidism

For the last 4 years I have struggled with hypothyroidism. I have constantly been looking for the 'magic' cure. I have held the belief that somewhere out there, there is a way to return me to my old self. But all the different avenues I have taken, I have still yet to find my cure. I still have hypothyroidism.

I have come to a point where I need to ask myself, "what if I can't be cured?" what if, no matter how bad I want it, I can never go back. What if this is as good as it gets and I have to move forward?

I have met people along the way who I never knew struggled with their health. They suffer quietly and continue on with a smile on their face. How I admire those people. I love that they keep moving forward and play with the hand that is dealt them.

It has made me realize that I might need to refocus my efforts on being healed versus being cured. I read an article recently that spelled out the difference.
Being healed means,

• Accepting myself as I am, even loving myself as I am, with whatever limitations I currently have, without giving up hope that I can improve - in both mind and body
• Refusing to live in the past, and refusing to worry about the future, but instead, living for now, enjoying this time, now
• Learning how to value myself for what's really important, my spirit, my kindness, how I live my life, instead of focusing on the superficialities such as weight changes, thinning hair, a sick thyroid, not having enough energy to be everything to everyone, and other imperfections
• And, above all, finding within the cloud of disease, the silver lining, the positive effects that thyroid disease has had on my life. If you think about it, there have to be some good things that have come from it. Empathy for others. Compassion at a deeper level. Dear friends I have had to rely on. It's helped me focus on my family and things that are important.

Ups and downs in health may always be there throughout our life, but there's one thing that no pill or endocrinologist or herb can change, and that's how we choose to live our lives, and whether our health controls us, or vice versa.